I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I die, sorry about rent.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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