I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
