When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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