dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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