The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You ate ashes out of my bong
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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