you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
