i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
