That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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