Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
