when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize