So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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