Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
