I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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