Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
