This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Someone signed my nipple.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
