the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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