Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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