I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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