peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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