i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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