He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize