i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
