So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just had sex on a roof
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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