so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
