When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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