Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
