CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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