Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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