apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
