Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
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