dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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