He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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