At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
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I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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