Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
