Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize