My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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