If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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