i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
