Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
