we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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