I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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