There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Congratulations! We have a period
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