It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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