On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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