Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
