I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
