I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
