im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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