Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
