Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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