Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
