you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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