The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
