when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
