First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
