dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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